And blah blah blah blah blah... OOOO, A DRAWING!

Well, the second leading cause of suicide in the nation... was my last Chem exam. The department really shouldn't try to condense all of organic chemistry into one semester. Yet, I really shouldn't have done so well on my last exam because I couldn't live up to that... now whenever I think of chemistry I feel sick to my stomach with failure. Fortunately, there are only three more weeks plus finals week left in the semester. Most all of the work left to do is due next week so if I can survive next week then I can worry less for the remaining weeks.

My internship seems to be delayed YET AGAIN! *sigh* but at least I'll be able to stay in Kansas since there's a lot to be done here. I may try to follow the powwow circuit this summer and I wonder if I can start a late fruit and veg planting since I'll be around again to tend to it. I think I want to grow melons again or indeterminate tomatoes. I hope that I can get to go on an actual holiday (not just driving to someplace in Kansas). I miss hiking in Rocky Mountain National park. I can only go where my parents will go and they are conservative... I guess they already had their chance earlier in life to be adventurous but won't let me have mine. If I had someone with which to travel, then I could go somewhere more exotic... Carrie is the only person who comes to mind and she doesn't have vacation leave at her job. Oh well... some are meant for great things... and some are meant to spend their summer weeding melon patches by hand... lol *sigh* But I suppose I have to be patient... my Rachel, another lifetime Kansas resident, is enjoying life on the West coast now. Oooo, maybe I'll go visit her and we can tour California wine country! Which reminds me, I just got a new bottle of Sauvignon Blanc to try! *drools* I'm beginning to like Sauvignon Blanc as much as I like Riesling.

The recent problems with chemistry have disillusioned me a little. I've been trying to find ways to reattain a more positive outlook. I started to obsessively doodle in Nursery Management class today so I took it as a sign that I should draw something today. It's been so long since my hand has done anything but take notes. I wanted to draw some flowers but I could never decide what species so I just did another portrait. I love doing portraits... I miss having sleepy roommates that I could draw. lol I only just did a basic sketch with purple.. if I ever finish it (which unfortunately, I never usually do) I'll probably layer in other colors. Maybe I should attempt to reapply for that botanical illustration internship in California... its not lab work but it WOULD be fun :P... and I could start submitting to DeviantArt again then! :)


Well, I probably should sleep now... I've got a lot of work to do in the morning. Bah, I ramble too much... Inu Yasha was distracting me... sometimes this show is so hilarious. lol

And sometimes even beavers can be weapons of mass destruction. Look out, Bush may start a war against marmots!!!

Well, wish me well on my Chemistry exam tonight. I am less than impressive with my recent lack of passion... at least concerning my passion for academics. My greatest downfall is my lack of trust in myself... I've been known to betray myself. Sometimes when I awake in the night, I can see myself standing over me with a knife... then I realize I left the door unlocked again and its just my drunken neighbor wanting to play pirates. hahaha I still have a few hours before the exam. I still need to review amides and memorize some pKa values. Next week will be my greatest trial. I have several papers and a large exam for which I need to study. I was much too lackadaisical all semester and I think I may have developed a habit.

But its spring now, and the sunshine makes for warmer feelings... and I crave something more than this methodical stagnation. Oh passport, why must you be sooo expensive! Oh, my heart, why must you be sooo aloof. Oh life, why must you be sooo tardy! Oh leezle, why must you be sooo overdramatic! lol On the bright side, my chemistry professor did show the class how to make a bomb using only some acid and a dead beaver. Afterwards he showed pictures of all the times his lab exploded or caught fire. Part of me is nervous about pursuing any chemistry in future schooling... its the part that doesn't want to be blown off. Hmmm, but it would offer some excitement to life.... kind of like when I worked for the biology department and my boss had me handle cyanide without gloves! Who doesn't love a good game of Russian roulette!

But who is to say I wouldn't have risked my life had a majored in Art... It did take me two years of painting before I realized I shouldn't mix colors like cadmium red or yellow on my hand. hahaha Even with all the years of exposure to toxic metals, I'll probably die from one to many head injuries.... which reminds me, the last bump on my head seems to have made the right side of my face go numb.... which will be useful if I ever get punched in the face again! lol

Alright, it is now 5:20pm so I probably should go study some before my test at 7:30pm... after the test ends at 9:30, I should be able to relax for a few hours before I have to start working on something else. AH, How I enjoy the brief moments when my heart isn't palpitating... or beating... hmmm, maybe that's tooo relaxed. hahaha

.:Todavía, creo en amor aunque mi corazón tiene nunca amar... pero todavía mi corazón sueña de algo... Serías algo?:.

And it took me until my third post to realize I was starting all my posts with "And"

Esto es muy confundiendo. Tengo demasiados blogs . También, estoy escribiendo en español obviomente, porque necesito a practicar terriblemente. Recibí mi nota en química hoy en mi acertijo. El nota no era que terrible como creo que sería. Aye, es muy difícil escribir en español. He olvidado mucho que he aprendido. Voy a terminar ahora.


As I was saying, I got my grade on my chemistry quiz. It was better than I had expected... although I wasn't expecting much. I got a 26.5/30, which is the lowest score I have received on a quiz thus far but better than nothing. In fact, I originally thought my score was 14.5 and started having a panic attack. hahaha I had misread the scoring, luckily. I think I still had the second highest score in the class despite my careless errors. I have a the highest overall grade in the class, however. *pause for applause* Just kidding, if you applaud me, my ego grows and feeds on small children... and American children are just too high in cholesterol nowadays. My friend, Levi, says Dutch babies are delicious... but I think he was referring to some type of pastry at the time.


Sorry for the anger of the last post. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to be raped by the guildmaster's wife... instead, I went to private school and my punishment was to sit next to our ridiculously tone-deaf teacher while she sang hymns in chapel. I think God would have been LESS offended had she chosen not to sing. Although, in highschool, the teachers made me sit in the hallway when I didn't behave... which I loved because the tile hallways were always freshly waxed and I would run and slide down them! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!


The semester is coming to an end and I have a final project for Plant Nursery Management and Operations due next week... I haven't got much of a start on it. I decided to partner up on it thinking that that would make things go faster... but I forgot how much other students liked to cut corners. *sigh* Hopefully, I can find the ambition to complete it this Thursday and Friday. The good news is that I get to visit my family's land out in Randolph, KS for the project. I someday hope to live there... because I'll never be able to afford a house. lol I was going to construct some sort of a mud hut... until it rained... and then I was going to make mud-angels!!! Yet another reason I probably will never marry... men typically don't find women covered in twigs and dirt very attractive... suuuuure, it may SOUND sexy but next thing you know, you'll be finding mud in all sorts of odd... not to mention uncomfortable... places. hahahaha


I have yet to decide which blog I like better. My LJ is more private... and as a creature of the night, I appreciate this privacy... but this blog has the option of messing with the code... so someday I can have some CSS fun!!! I may just blog on every blog that I have... after all, each one serves its own purpose and possibly its own version of my personality... which is why some of my blogs must be more secretive.... for you're safety....
>.>
<.<
hehehehehe

And also, I learned from my many years at Xanga that there are some versions of me that the general public finds less than entertaining... so I take it upon myself to keep the more boring parts of Leezle hidden within the blog caves of the blog Misty Mountains... muahahahaha... such as the boring parts that like to use big words like syzygy and cacophonous and like to mix metaphors in ramblings of secret forbidden desires ;) *wink wink* Hey baby... *sexy growls* But actually those secret forbidden desires are more like something from Pride and Prejudice than Penthouse. There are already enough dirty thoughts on the internet to last a lifetime. hehehe

Well, I better get to class. Since I've learned absolutely nothing in this class, it would be a shame if I missed it... I then might miss the one day I COULD have learned something... but probably not. lol

And people wonder why I never like to finish anything...

Things seem to be getting more arduous.
Also, my hands are so cold my fingers are locked up... I look like a second grader typing. lol

Anyway, my chem quiz is in less than three hours... and I have yet to figure out the second chapter... or read the third. Clearly, blogging about it is going to make me learn... or at least that's what happens in my fantasies. Fantasies are the same is reality, aren't they?!?! Just with less unicorn!
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Unicorn has been proven as the third leading cause of stupidity.

I have one more year of this... one more year... people are mean... work is hard... and my health is increasingly peculiar. Perhaps if I killed the mean people and ate them, I could absorb their strength and knowledge and everything would be fine. Huzzah, I have solved it... the answer to college is cannibalism!

Anyway, some student told me to "grow up" today, so I guess what he was saying is that its time I had sex and/or balanced my checkbook. Hmmm, I wonder if I could do both at the same time. It make not be safe to be writing with a sharp pen while all that thrusting is going on.

But seriously, what is grown up anyways. Just this morning, I said to the half-way normal looking individual in the mirror... "wow, you've really matured... into a shallow mindless adult!" And I think I now understand it. It's based upon the variable of fun. If you possess the creativity to easily entertain yourself and others without resources, i.e. having fun, then you are a child. If you can cope with the mind-numbing alternative entertainment... usually chemical or electronic... then you have digressed to the venerable state of adulthood.
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So I guess I just need more crack.

So, I'm off to study. Wish me luck. Hmmm, I wonder if Rickel's liquor will be open after the quiz... I have to get started on being more adult... also, margaritas are an SN2 reaction so it's kind of like studying. kind of. Actually, its more like me trying to kill the pain of the thought that I will someday be your friendly neighborhood Wal*Mart manager. Meh, at least I'll have benefits! Maybe I'll finally be able to go to the doctor and get that bullet removed from the time when I was trying to score some crack... wait, deja vu.

Studying....
"Damnit, I can't remember all this stuff about alcohols"
"Oh the irony... hahaha"

(Disclaimer: I don't really use crack because I don't need chemical alteration to see fairies and Jesus... we're already friends on messenger)

And just then I realized I still wasn't studying!

I think this headache is just a reminder of where thoughts used to be... just in case I feel like making new ones in the future to replace them. For now, I'm going to channel all my energy towards winning the lottery. Clearly, I have learned the most important lesson college has to offer... your fucked; keep wishing.

To which my light-hearted response is: Damn straight! Maybe if I'm lucky, this headache is really an inoperable brain tumor... bent on world domination! Then all will remember me as "that one girl who's brain tumor killed the prime minister of Canada and conquered several parts of Europe... the sexy parts... like Luxembourg... or Belgium. Shut up, Luxembourg is totally sexy and you know it!!!"

Go study, RIGHT!
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Wait, what was I going to do again?