And sometimes even beavers can be weapons of mass destruction. Look out, Bush may start a war against marmots!!!

Well, wish me well on my Chemistry exam tonight. I am less than impressive with my recent lack of passion... at least concerning my passion for academics. My greatest downfall is my lack of trust in myself... I've been known to betray myself. Sometimes when I awake in the night, I can see myself standing over me with a knife... then I realize I left the door unlocked again and its just my drunken neighbor wanting to play pirates. hahaha I still have a few hours before the exam. I still need to review amides and memorize some pKa values. Next week will be my greatest trial. I have several papers and a large exam for which I need to study. I was much too lackadaisical all semester and I think I may have developed a habit.

But its spring now, and the sunshine makes for warmer feelings... and I crave something more than this methodical stagnation. Oh passport, why must you be sooo expensive! Oh, my heart, why must you be sooo aloof. Oh life, why must you be sooo tardy! Oh leezle, why must you be sooo overdramatic! lol On the bright side, my chemistry professor did show the class how to make a bomb using only some acid and a dead beaver. Afterwards he showed pictures of all the times his lab exploded or caught fire. Part of me is nervous about pursuing any chemistry in future schooling... its the part that doesn't want to be blown off. Hmmm, but it would offer some excitement to life.... kind of like when I worked for the biology department and my boss had me handle cyanide without gloves! Who doesn't love a good game of Russian roulette!

But who is to say I wouldn't have risked my life had a majored in Art... It did take me two years of painting before I realized I shouldn't mix colors like cadmium red or yellow on my hand. hahaha Even with all the years of exposure to toxic metals, I'll probably die from one to many head injuries.... which reminds me, the last bump on my head seems to have made the right side of my face go numb.... which will be useful if I ever get punched in the face again! lol

Alright, it is now 5:20pm so I probably should go study some before my test at 7:30pm... after the test ends at 9:30, I should be able to relax for a few hours before I have to start working on something else. AH, How I enjoy the brief moments when my heart isn't palpitating... or beating... hmmm, maybe that's tooo relaxed. hahaha

.:Todavía, creo en amor aunque mi corazón tiene nunca amar... pero todavía mi corazón sueña de algo... Serías algo?:.