"And this is how it ended. Was it sunrise or sunset? I know not, only that the light was strangled by some coming or going, caught up in the arms of the horizon, smothered by tree-lines and hills. And this is how it ended. I knew you were going to leave... so I left first, with my steal back turned to you like a flank of armour in love's war... except I had no challenger, my heart just throws impotent blows at its own fort walls. I feel your shadows, though amorphous in the umbra of goodbyes... of comings and goings of the sun. They hang like dusty spectors whose cold spindle finger caress my spine. You're there... and yet no longer. If I turn to grab their sinister hands, their abysmal palms, there are hopes and chances as precarious as a silk thread to pull you through the darkness to the solar zenith... where there are no comings and goings... no prisoner landscape to snuff the fiery orb. No goodbye.Blargh! Sentimental rambling... sorry, I can't help myself. Spring does this to me. :P It's rare I have romantic dreams... much less romantic dreams involving real people (I did have that one dream where I fell in love with a stranger who turned out to be an android lol)... so I guess I felt the need to document it. Although, I really just documented the end of the dream when me and my love-interest went our separate ways. It was a fun dream though... and at one point I got to play DDR lol It was happy... and somewhat realistic... but I'll never forget the way it felt to lie in that dim room looking out the window.
Feeling. I keep what feeling I've disintered from ancient ruins of self, from autobiographical statues crushed by time and careless, thoughless hands of men. I embellish the fabric of my dreams with its rare sparkle. I am good at detaching.. dropping from the branch like a restless leaf although the branch gave me life...
your shadows soon fade... your memory soon sussurates...
I push my face through rivers of curtains whos' pallid ,gossamer folds seem to drink the ambient light and burn with its sustainence. Their creases are endless and I fumble through white valleys to descry the view through the distant window. Outside, men of wax, contrived perfection, molded to mimic valor, melt beneath their own haughty blaze and reveal they are nothing; they lie about in pools of pretention. But I pander to them with smiles of equal insipid fabrication for as they are nothing so too am I...
your memory, I've buried in the dark places behind me.
Colorful feathers lie on the beach like garish pallets. Flamboyant as jewels, they twist with the breeze across the wind-carved grass and scatter over the water. I watch, mesmerized by their hypnotic glamour, and my heart chokes on the waves as each vivid yet frail feather crumples beneath the undulation of the tenebrous water. Their feeble bodies quickly submiss to the looming breakers. The room around me is muted hues, smoked with the expiring effulgence to a calm gray.
I lay in empty places.
Every image has its significance but this was just another dream I had to abandon with the darkness. I had fallen in love then I had let it go... for to free my heart from its own walls would emancipate a strangely, fiercly beautiful yet savage creature and threaten the calm for which I sacrificed my everything. Yet often I wonder if the cacophony of life often sings more dulcet then this silence.
Dreams are artisans of cruel questions, vices of beauty that leave reality to echo acrimony."
Soooo... I'll post a real update some other time. :P
1 comment:
There is probably an android somewhere waiting for you someday. He must yearn for the fleshy meatiness that only you could give him. Poor lonely android man... :(
I know the feeling of your dreams. I have them too, but they make me sad when they aren't real.
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